“There is absolutely no marijuana in this beer.”

Thus spake Ron Lindenbush, head “beer weasel” at Lagunitas Brewing, last night at the Brickskeller in Washington D.C.

Over the course of the night Ron would regale us with so many dope-smoking stories that my confidence in the above statement crumbled.

First, there is their Censored Ale, which was originally called Kronik but the feds rejected their label application due to the drug reference. So they renamed it Censored Ale as a joke, but the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau apparently forgot to laugh and approved the new name. Here’s the text that actually appears on the approved label:

“Anyway, we were going out to, uh, the, uh, you know, thing, and all, and when we got there, well, uh, the dude was, like- “whoa man!” I mean, and we were all, uh, you know – “whoa!” and stuff, and when I said to him, like, you know, “hey man”, and all they, I mean he, was all “what?” and stuff – and I just told him what you said and all and they were all man – “not cool dude”, but whatever – so, uh, we split and went back to my lair and just hung out and whatever, but the whole thing was, like, just SUCH a bummer and all but, you know, it was cool and stuff, but you just gotta, you know, about the dude and all, like, it’s cool and all you know, but what’s up with that “blah blah blah”? Whatzit got to do with beer and all? I mean, really, dude, whatever…but, it’s cool and all…”

Ron Lindenbush, Lagunitas

The fact that their infamous brewery-parties start at 4:20pm is perhaps another indication of their herbal interests. So given the, well, illegality of marijuana, you might wonder what Lagunitas’ attitude is toward the law. Ron says, “We don’t spend a lot on lawyers unless someone’s in handcuffs.”

And apparently that’s exactly what happened the night of their St. Patrick’s Day party when two undercover agents shackled Ron after having accepted free weed offered by some brewery staff and witnessing Ron light up a joint “the size of a cannon.” The fact that the staff members didn’t charge anything for the pot saved the brewery from being shuddered permanently. Instead they were merely prohibited from having parties at the brewery for a while.

You can read some more stories about Lagunitas on their website, but hearing Ron tell them in person was unforgettable. Actually, I almost forgot – I had heard these stories once before when I visited the brewery on a slow Sunday afternoon, unannounced, and Ron greeted me with a bag of, um, “hops,” and then proceeded to feed me free samples all afternoon.

(Thanks to Seung for taking the picture – that’s Ron on the right).

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One Response to “There is absolutely no marijuana in this beer.”

  1. Dave Bonta says:

    Dude. Heinous.

    “what the night of their St. Patrick’s Day” — what happened, i spose

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