Anheuser-Busch Reduces Emissions to Fight Global Warming

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

ST. LOUIS, APRIL 1 – Anheuser-Busch, the nation’s largest brewing company and the second biggest brewer in the world, announced today that it was reducing the carbon dioxide in its beers.

“From now on, all the beers we make will be 50 percent lower in CO2,” said CEO August Busch IV in a prepared statement.

Busch said that he became a convert to the lower-emissions cause after he viewed “An Inconvenient Truth”, Al Gore’s film about global warming. “It’s obvious that we have to change our manufacturing practices in order to save the Earth,” Busch said.

According to Busch, he shared a beer with Gore after a private screening of the film. Gore told him that over-carbonated beers and the excess flatulence they produce are contributing significantly to greenhouse gases, Busch said.

“If more gas goes in, more goes out,” Busch explained. “By using lower levels of carbonation in our products, we’re going to lower methane production and lead the fight against climate change.”

Busch said his company, will begin producing two low-CO2 beers, “Greenweiser” and “Greenweiser Light,” which will eventually replace the brewery’s flagships Budweiser and Bud Light. In addition, all A-B production facilities (which will be renamed Busch Green Plants, or BGP) will be surrounded inside and out by trees and other green plants to absorb excess carbon dioxide. Company beer trucks will use only biodiesel and hybrid fuels. Renewable wind and solar power will produce energy for the breweries, Busch said.

“We don’t have much time to change our ways, but if we all start brewing and drinking lower-carbonated beer, it will make our air purer, especially in the summertime and at beer festivals.”

“Think low gas – drink low gas,” Busch added. “A planet is a terrible thing to lose.”

Al Gore could not be reached for comment.

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I received the above press release this morning. It’s a day late for April Fools, but I loved it so much I had to share.

The ironies:
1) Anheuser-Busch really should decrease the level of carbonation in their fizzy beers. Try a Real Ale sometime to see how over-carbonation can mask flavor, or in the case of A-B, lack thereof.

2) Many small craft brewers actually are taking some of the measures mentioned above, like running trucks on biodiesel, and using solar and wind to power their breweries. Read my book or browse this blog to find lots of examples.

3) Anheuser-Busch has already released a “Greenweiser” and “Greenweiser Light” in the form of Stone Mill Pale Ale and Wild Hop Lager, both of which use certified organic malts and are produced by the “Green Valley Brewing Co.” which is actually a made up name for the Anheuser-Busch brewery in Fairfield, CA.

Look here for a post about these A-B organic beers sometime soon. Meanwhile, happy belated April Fool’s Day.

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