When a Draft Is Not a Draft

The bad news has been thick this week. My brother’s cancer got more complicated. Democrats lost their super-majority in the Senate after using it to accomplish … exactly nothing, no universal health care, no climate bill, no nothing. (I don’t see what’s so  “super” about that). Haiti, a country with a tragic history but that seemed to be on a slow path of progress, suffered yet another massive tragedy. And finally, the supreme court decided to make it official that corporations run America.

The injustice of all this is enough to make a good man sit down at the bar and cry into his draft beer.

Draft beer. Ah, at least we have that. The one thing that reliably helps make sense of a world in chaos, or at least makes it briefly more tolerable. But this is where the news gets worse. This comforting crutch of man has crossed over into the chaos.

I am referring, of course, to draft beer in a bottle.

In a nutshell, or in a bottle as the case may be, draft beer in a bottle represents everything wrong with the world today. Greedy corporate pigdogs lying outright and getting away with it — nay, even succeeding as a result of it. According to dictionary.com, the term “draft beer” is a noun, originating in 1780-90, meaning: beer drawn or available to be drawn from a cask or barrel. So, putting beer in a bottle and calling it draft is simply lying. It is a lie, people. And we accept these corporate lies every day. They sell us pig shit and call it baby back ribs.

This week has been bad enough. So to come home yesterday and find free beer in the mail was kind of like winning the booby prize — yes, I lost the game but at least I get a beer. But then I opened the box and found a bottle of Tsingtao “Pure Draft Beer.” Yes, it is pure alright. Pure bullshit. You are kicking a man when he is down, Tsingtao.

I’ve had it. This is what I think of your “draft” beer in a bottle, you liars.

"Pure Draft Beer" in a bottle makes me very angry.

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92 Responses to When a Draft Is Not a Draft

  1. Tim O' says:

    Although this post was meant as a diatribe, railing against injustice, particularly serial corporate liars, it was extremely entertaining and enjoyed by my better half and I. Cheers! Here’s to a toast with actual draft beer.

  2. Bishop says:

    Ha, that’s funny. Does Tsingtao mean Budweiser in Japanese? Just a guess.

  3. Brendan Hickey says:

    Shuddering at flashbacks of Piels Real Draft and Miller Genuine Draft – seems as though there have been a few others.

  4. My thoughts for you and your brother.

  5. jmwerry says:

    I hope you purchased that bottle solely for the purpose of smashing it 🙂 Cheers.

  6. beeractivist says:

    Thankfully no, I didn’t purchase it at all. They sent it to me as a sample. I’m such an ingrate.

  7. […] This man is passionate about his beer. Sir, I raise my glass to you. Uncategorized Subscribe to RSS feed a2a_linkname=document.title;a2a_linkurl=location.href; Leave a Reply […]

  8. Well, you’ve just buggered your chances of getting any more free samples from THAT place.

    Or maybe that was the point. Silly me. <:-)

  9. […] January, 2010 by MAG From one of my favorite beer bloggers comes this gem of an […]

  10. Funny, they sent you a sample, you smashed it, put a picture on your blog and mentioned the product by name. Sadly, in a world where any publicity is good publicity you’ve accomplished their goal of boosting their google ratings.

    The corporation wins again.

    But I do like the idea of smashing the bottle without even taking it out of the bubble wrap in the box.

  11. Boo to uninteresting beer. Glad you didn’t take any of that.

  12. Marlie says:

    Vtebde Great thinking! That really breaks the mold!

  13. Mal says:

    Well… since the bottle cap is missing it might be possible that he actually drank the beer and then smashed it!

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